was the same in the UK. I became so anxious about holding up queues that by the time we moved to Japan, I was too nervous to take my time at the checkout and pay with coins. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone shouting hurry up at me, like I’d often seen in London. So I avoided using small change altogether and ended up with bags of 1-yen coins—useless in vending machines and impossible to deposit more than 50 at a time in an ATM. I wish I took a moment back then to realise that everyone takes there time in paying and waiting. Would have saved myself a bunch of anxiety.
I live in the UK currently. I feel like people are usually more polite when waiting/in queues than in France where I grew up.
During the pandemic, people became less in a hurry, we were more taking the time. We minded less about queuing and instant gratification. Unfortunately as the world got back to 'normal' so did we on this... And I am sad about it.
Fiorenza, thank you for sharing your experiences with us here. I would have liked to peer into a less-hurried London. I always thought that it is a city that deserves a gentler approach. London is a very special place to me.
I’m currently recovering from surgery. It has been a lesson in patience. And kindness to one’s self. I’m told “the worst part will be over in 8 weeks.” I’m at the end of week 4. And so, your essay has been a welcome balm to my day to day imposed limits. I agree. It has been better to give in to the boredom.
Hello Mary-Ann. I am moved that my bit of writing found you at this moment and that of brought you a tiny bit of comfort. It isn't easy to wait on your body to heal when we are often wired to "keep going". I hope you feel better soon and that your recovery is as smooth as possible. Thank you so much for your note!
After 15 years of living here, and not understanding the long silent lines waiting for the Hankyu baumküchen, Hanshin rusks, or the Sushi-Ro, I now have a much better understanding of thank you!
Waiting is a quality and not a something to be ashamed off. Asian people have this quality more than westerners, I think. I was in Japan last summer and I tell you, I have never had the feeling that Japanese were stressed. You know, the kind of stress that you feel Americans have if you go to NY, for instance. In my country we have a popular saying that goes: 'those who wait always achieve'. Take it as you want but there is always some truth in popular sayings.
I think I know what you mean, Luz. I recognise a similar sense of stress in London. Stress is a thing for Japanese people too but you are right, it's less perceptible. I guess many people here are brought up to internalise many things and I am not sure if that is always a good thing? But most people just want to keep things peaceful and calm, so this is one way it is achieved.
Hi Yasumi, thanks for your reaction to my comment. I agree that Japanese have the ability to internalise more than a southern European, for instance but it is not only this. I see it as knowing how to handle stress. Keep it under control. This is the art and I think you have it!😊
Thank-you for this refreshing perspective, Yasumi. I have never seen queues and traffic jams as anything but a waste of precious time. Now I can appreciate each moment for what it offers - they also serve who only stand and wait.
Spring comes very late here, but three years ago I planted two Princess Kay flowering plums and they are the first thing to bloom in my garden. Right now their trunks are buried in over four feet of snow (no lie) but I don't think that will deter them. Here in Montana a tree must be tough to survive, and they take their time growing. Thanks for reminding me to be excited about waiting for their blooms!
I love this! I will look at waiting as a gift now most definitely! Last night we went with friends to a very popular casual pizza place, we arrived early thinking we would beat the crowd but we were seventh in line for a table. We waited, initially standing and observing the food preparations and the hustling around us, eventually a bench became available so we were able to sit and chat for the 30 minute wait. As I reflect on that time now I only remember the wonderful smells of the restaurant, the anticipation of tasting their dishes and the small talk we enjoyed with our friends as we waited, together. The wait was definitely an extension to our entire, enjoyable evening!
I really love this writing and invitation to enjoy the waiting. As a working mum to 2 little humans, one being very little and with intense demands, I find it hard at times to step out of the multitasking and the juggle. This post is a lovely reminder to do so. 🙏
I feel you!!! I have 2 kids, too. They are a little older now (9 and 6), but I remember them being younger and more demanding. I remember trying to juggle work with their needs and often feeling overwhelmed or guilty. Hang in there! All these phases we go through with our kids....I have no idea how we ride them out. But, yes, please take moments to breathe and stare at the sky, or flowers or grass, as often as you can.
I enjoy driving and do not use the phone or answer calls when I’m in my car. My car is my sanctuary although the music is very loud.😆 Rarely do I see someone driving without their phone in their hand or in front of their face! Do Japanese drivers use their phones?
Lovely. Lived in Japan as a teen… and to this day I remember that social cooperation, especially in the subway system during rush hour and how gently it went even when I was lifted off my young feet and carried by the crowd into the subway car.
Thank you for sharing your memory here, Valerie. A couple of years ago, I went to a large firework display, thousands of people must have turned up for it. When the last firework exploded colour into the night, people started to make their way to the train stations, thousands of them. I was expecting a chaotic meltdown. But it never happened. People waited for hours, many of them were tipsy!
Your phrase "they burst into laughs" makes me smile. =)
I wish I could remember what brainwashed me into imagining that flowers are laughing, giggling or smiling.
Why not and who cares? I like the idea that flowers laugh to us.
Snapdragons
Yes!!! I very much liked this idea of laughing flowers! 🤭
Reminds me of “the earth laughs in flowers” by Ralph Waldo Emerson. I
love your piece!
I like this quote! Thank you for sharing it here, Marilyn.
I love this perspective. So different from the American drive for immediate gratification
was the same in the UK. I became so anxious about holding up queues that by the time we moved to Japan, I was too nervous to take my time at the checkout and pay with coins. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone shouting hurry up at me, like I’d often seen in London. So I avoided using small change altogether and ended up with bags of 1-yen coins—useless in vending machines and impossible to deposit more than 50 at a time in an ATM. I wish I took a moment back then to realise that everyone takes there time in paying and waiting. Would have saved myself a bunch of anxiety.
I live in the UK currently. I feel like people are usually more polite when waiting/in queues than in France where I grew up.
During the pandemic, people became less in a hurry, we were more taking the time. We minded less about queuing and instant gratification. Unfortunately as the world got back to 'normal' so did we on this... And I am sad about it.
Fiorenza, thank you for sharing your experiences with us here. I would have liked to peer into a less-hurried London. I always thought that it is a city that deserves a gentler approach. London is a very special place to me.
What a beautiful perspective. I will think about you and this piece the next time I am in a long line. 😊
love this, i hope to achieve the patience for waiting one day 🙏
This is so nice. 😊 Can’t wait to wait.
I like how you think, Amy!
I’m currently recovering from surgery. It has been a lesson in patience. And kindness to one’s self. I’m told “the worst part will be over in 8 weeks.” I’m at the end of week 4. And so, your essay has been a welcome balm to my day to day imposed limits. I agree. It has been better to give in to the boredom.
Hello Mary-Ann. I am moved that my bit of writing found you at this moment and that of brought you a tiny bit of comfort. It isn't easy to wait on your body to heal when we are often wired to "keep going". I hope you feel better soon and that your recovery is as smooth as possible. Thank you so much for your note!
How timely to find this lovely piece of writing today for you. Wishing you a speedy and smooth recovery 🙏
Me too. Hang in there
Doing my darndest. Some days it’s like watching paint dry.
I felt the gentle breeze of your words, soothing.
After 15 years of living here, and not understanding the long silent lines waiting for the Hankyu baumküchen, Hanshin rusks, or the Sushi-Ro, I now have a much better understanding of thank you!
I had to giggle at your comment about the queues for baumküchen and rusks! Some queues baffle me too.
😅でしょう！？ I learned a lot from your short piece, thank you!
Waiting is a quality and not a something to be ashamed off. Asian people have this quality more than westerners, I think. I was in Japan last summer and I tell you, I have never had the feeling that Japanese were stressed. You know, the kind of stress that you feel Americans have if you go to NY, for instance. In my country we have a popular saying that goes: 'those who wait always achieve'. Take it as you want but there is always some truth in popular sayings.
I think I know what you mean, Luz. I recognise a similar sense of stress in London. Stress is a thing for Japanese people too but you are right, it's less perceptible. I guess many people here are brought up to internalise many things and I am not sure if that is always a good thing? But most people just want to keep things peaceful and calm, so this is one way it is achieved.
Hi Yasumi, thanks for your reaction to my comment. I agree that Japanese have the ability to internalise more than a southern European, for instance but it is not only this. I see it as knowing how to handle stress. Keep it under control. This is the art and I think you have it!😊
Beautifully written. I love “pout at the sun.”
Pouting flowers. The thought makes me smile. Thank you for reading.
Of course! I really enjoyed your piece. If you feel like it, check out my Substack. My sweet spot is creative nonfiction and memoir.
Thank-you for this refreshing perspective, Yasumi. I have never seen queues and traffic jams as anything but a waste of precious time. Now I can appreciate each moment for what it offers - they also serve who only stand and wait.
Spring comes very late here, but three years ago I planted two Princess Kay flowering plums and they are the first thing to bloom in my garden. Right now their trunks are buried in over four feet of snow (no lie) but I don't think that will deter them. Here in Montana a tree must be tough to survive, and they take their time growing. Thanks for reminding me to be excited about waiting for their blooms!
I love this! I will look at waiting as a gift now most definitely! Last night we went with friends to a very popular casual pizza place, we arrived early thinking we would beat the crowd but we were seventh in line for a table. We waited, initially standing and observing the food preparations and the hustling around us, eventually a bench became available so we were able to sit and chat for the 30 minute wait. As I reflect on that time now I only remember the wonderful smells of the restaurant, the anticipation of tasting their dishes and the small talk we enjoyed with our friends as we waited, together. The wait was definitely an extension to our entire, enjoyable evening!
Gosh. I just love this. I am
Waiting just now, not sure for what, but your words have given me a little more trust in it.
I really love this writing and invitation to enjoy the waiting. As a working mum to 2 little humans, one being very little and with intense demands, I find it hard at times to step out of the multitasking and the juggle. This post is a lovely reminder to do so. 🙏
I feel you!!! I have 2 kids, too. They are a little older now (9 and 6), but I remember them being younger and more demanding. I remember trying to juggle work with their needs and often feeling overwhelmed or guilty. Hang in there! All these phases we go through with our kids....I have no idea how we ride them out. But, yes, please take moments to breathe and stare at the sky, or flowers or grass, as often as you can.
I enjoy driving and do not use the phone or answer calls when I’m in my car. My car is my sanctuary although the music is very loud.😆 Rarely do I see someone driving without their phone in their hand or in front of their face! Do Japanese drivers use their phones?
Lovely. Lived in Japan as a teen… and to this day I remember that social cooperation, especially in the subway system during rush hour and how gently it went even when I was lifted off my young feet and carried by the crowd into the subway car.
Thank you for sharing your memory here, Valerie. A couple of years ago, I went to a large firework display, thousands of people must have turned up for it. When the last firework exploded colour into the night, people started to make their way to the train stations, thousands of them. I was expecting a chaotic meltdown. But it never happened. People waited for hours, many of them were tipsy!